Shit That is Underrated By Our Generation

As a follow up to my recent article, Shit That is Overrated By Our Generation, here is a list of the things that our generation undervalues and over-hates.

  • The Simpsons – I swear 99% of college-aged people nowadays have zero concept of how brilliant, funny, and well-written The Simpsons used to be. Seasons 1-8 are pure gold.
  • Girls’ Hair – Ladies, please do not chop your hair off super short. Having long, beautiful hair is the equivalent to having a nice ass, big tits, or a pretty face. It increases your attractiveness by a large margin. As the old adage goes – some girls can pull off short hair, but no girl looks better with short hair. Plus, I need something to grab when I’m hitting from behind.
  • Flasks – Whether you’re going to a concert, the bar, work, a baseball game, a stroll in the park, or to your great aunt’s funeral who you met like twice, a flask allows you to covertly get a nice buzz going for cheap. Hell yeah man.
  • The Pregame – Unless we are counting 3 am drunken sex, the pregame is the best part of the night.
  • Lifting Weights – If someone asks me how to get girls and they still can’t bench their bodyweight, they’ve got a lot of work to do before they even scratch the surface. This is being a man 101. No, not every guy needs to a raging meathead, but have some self-respect and hit the gym. The pure rush of exploding up through heavy deadlift sets is enough to make you feel like you can run through a brick wall. TESTOSTERONE MAN.
  • The Guy Who Invented Birth Control – Gregory Goodwin Pincus (legendary name). Should be a household name actually. Dude’s a hero in my book. Thank you, Greg.
  • Karaoke Night – Allows me to channel all of my embarrassing stupidity into one reckless evening at a moderately filled dive bar. I’ll take that. Plus it’s another reason to get shitfaced on a weeknight. And come on, you know I sound like Bruce Springsteen when I do “Thunder Road”. Don’t lie.
  • Patriotism – If you’re a young American, I guess hating on your home country is the cool thing to do nowadays. You have it ohhh so hard and this place is a hive of treachery and evil, poor you. To the Americans who hate on America, your grandfathers probably wish they would’ve pulled out.
  • Waking Up Early – Don’t get me wrong, I’m prone to sleeping in until noon after a night of heavy boozing. But don’t make this a habit. Stop making that bullshit excuse that “I’m not a morning person” and change your ways. Plus, sunrises are better than sunsets.
  • Thursdays – Basic fact of college. Thursdays are by far the best night of the weekend.
  • Cheap Beer – Listen, if you’re the type of guy who only drinks IPA’s and seasonal craft beers while scoffing at my cheap 30 rack, fuck you. You suck. And you probably get zero play. For years, Natural Light has allowed me to get wasted with my friends on a college budget. And ya know what, it’s good. There, I said it. Plus, you can’t shotgun an IPA, so what’s the point?
  • Puzzles – Puzzles are dope, dude. I really have the urge to build a puzzle right now. Also, puzzle is a weird word. Think about it.
  • Being Alone – I swear everyone constantly needs to be with a friend to do simple tasks or every day errands. No, you don’t need someone to accompany you to the grocery store. To take it further, if you want to get a drink and your friends are busy, go alone. If you’re craving the Ichiban Roll from your favorite sushi joint, post up at the sushi bar and order that roll. I mean I kind of get it with girls, but guys – quit being so codependent on other dudes and forge your own path in life. Be comfortable with who you are and own it. Who gives a shit what the weak majority of the population thinks.
  • Cooking Skills – Being able to consistently cook delicious, healthy meals is one of the most valuable skills anyone can possess. Yet somehow there are kids my age who still don’t know how the grill works. Cavemen figured that shit out and your college educated self can’t? Come on. I will not marry a girl unless she can’t floor me with her cooking skills. The women in my family have set the bar very high.
  • Mental Stability – Getting all worked up about irrelevant shit is super overrated. Become a zen master and be in control of your emotions. Leave that nonsense to the kids.
  • Backyard Football – Sure, I may have quit football in high school to get my triple varsity letter in beer pong, blowing all my money on refer, and getting girls, but who gives a shit. Real question is, am I good at backyard football? Well, does a combination of Troy Polamalu, Tom Brady, Ray Lewis, and Walter Payton sound good to you? Then yeah, you could say I’m a solid player. Similar to Pablo Sanchez. Backyard football is pretty much the greatest thing ever because it allows us hungover college kids to pretend we’re world-class athletes.
  • Buying Music – I know in the internet generation you can have 10,000 songs in your library without ever paying a dime. But support the artistry, man. I don’t buy most of the stuff I listen to, but I’ll buy a record on vinyl if I really like it. Going to shows is another way to support your favorite artists.
  • Having Respect – ‘Woooo, rebel, fuck the establishment, cops are evil, yeah man!’ These people need smacked.
  • Pre-2000’s Movies – Apparently, if it wasn’t released in the Twitter era, it is considered “old”. Apparently no one has heard of Stanley Kubrick either. Apparently if there aren’t booming explosions or Seth Rogen, it isn’t worth watching. Fuckin’ millennials, man…
  • Having Style – Believe it or not, when I say style I am not referring to the jogger pants & bucket hats look. Nor am I talking about buying out the entire Banana Republic store. No… I am speaking of cultivating your own look, paying attention to how pieces work together, throwing some personality in, and rocking the hell out of it.
  • Moscow Mules – A well-made Moscow Mule with the perfect balance of ginger, lime, mint, and vodka might be the most refreshing alcoholic beverage to exist. In my bartending days, I’m 94% sure I used to make the best Mules in the Midwest.
  • Mixed CD’s – Due to the beloved aux cord, I might be the last person on earth who still makes CDs for the car. But having the ability to skip thousands of different songs gives you too many options. With CDs, you have to carefully craft them because you’re more or less stuck with the same ~15 songs on repeat, but this allows you to really get to embrace the songs and let them grow on you, which is how music should be treated in the first place. Plus, making a girl a mixed CD is a classic move from youthful repertoire.
  • Hard Work – “I don’t wanna go to the gym”, “I don’t wanna study”. Hard work makes you a better person. If you adapt the mindset that hard work is actually an opportunity, not only will you accomplish much more in your life than the average schmuck, but you’ll be a more confident person as well.
  • The Breakfast Date – I love a dimly lit dinner and drinks with a beautiful lady in a dress as much as the next guy, I really do. But you really see what she’s all about at the breakfast date. Does she look good with disheveled hair and no make-up? Can you enjoy her company without the booze-tinged atmosphere of the nighttime? Now that’s dope. (Bonus points if there was a prior morning session)
  • Quality Females – Don’t get me wrong, I love all people no matter their degree of sexual experience and I deeply enjoy (see that) girls who know how to have a good time. However, through all the girls I’ve talked to and bedded in college (somewhere around 23,674 at this point), there are about two I’ve met worthy of a relationship. That’s a pretty poor ratio.
  • Having Class – Any high quality dude has a more sophisticated taste in women than your average chump. We admire class; and there isn’t much of it these days. You know, the whole spiel about “lady in the streets but a freak in the bed”. Yeah, that’s real. Girls that tweet or make suggestive remarks about sex on Twitter… Are you 16? Grow up. And stop swearing so much. Girls talking about sex in the open is a turn-off and ruins the whole imagination factor. These are the same girls who will become cat ladies and can’t understand why they can’t keep a quality guy around.
  • Discount Movie Theaters – First, let’s agree on the fact that seeing a movie in the theater is the proper way to enjoy it (not on a 13-inch Macbook Pro screen that buffers every 4.5 minutes). Problem is, it aint easy to do on a college budget. Luckily, some discount movie theaters do exist, and they are the shit. We really need more of those.
  • Steroids – Goddamn, baseball was cool when I was a little kid. I loved going to games and seeing Barry Bonds put a baseball into the next state. That shit was awesome. Can we start a petition to allow legal steroids in baseball again? Who’s with me?
  • Peer Pressure – Gets way too much hate. If you have the right friends, peer pressure can be a pretty great thing, as long as you know your limits. Live a little.

  One thought on “Shit That is Underrated By Our Generation

  1. Julia
    February 6, 2016 at 5:21 am

    Just wanted to say I absolutely love this site. My sorority sisters and I read it all the time and just can’t get enough. You and Hans sound like a couple really amazing guys!

    Keep it up! :)

    • February 8, 2016 at 7:00 pm

      Thanks Julia. You sound like a sweetheart.

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