Why You Should Go to a Large State School

 

Deciding on a college can be the most important decision you ever make in life.  Well, not quite that far (i.e. MARRIAGE), but it’s pretty damn important. One thing I’ve noticed through bullshitting with friends over the years, is that each and every school has something unique to offer.  Furthermore, each and every kid’s college experience can be vastly different according to the school they chose.

 

While every school has its perks, something has become very clear to me – my friends at large state schools ALWAYS have more fun.

 

This isn’t a half-assed assumption.  This is FACT.  I’m not saying you can’t have a good time and meet lifelong friends at a small liberal arts school, but you will deprive yourself of “the college experience”.

 

See, coming out of high school, a small college may seem like a good idea.  If you had fun in high school, you may rationalize that a student body of 4,000 is more than enough to provide you with friends and hot girls.  Maybe you toured the campus and its picturesque landscape seems to be the perfect backdrop to reading Vonnegut and liberating your mind.  Or perhaps you were spoon-fed the bullshit notion that you need small class sizes and individual professor attention to enrich your academic experience, hooray!

 

It’s all bullshit, dude.

 

First, the small student body will haunt you.  You WILL inevitably get sick of it.  There’s no way around this.  Sure high school may have been fun with the same number of people, but you need to move on and grow.  College is a pivotal time to surround yourself with as many new people as possible.  More guys, more potential friends and connections.

 

Let’s be honest though, the biggest concern here is the limited supply of females.  First, I’ll go on record to state that the average quality of females at these liberal arts schools is lower than at big state schools.  The majority of truly hot, thoroughbred, suburban girls who want to go to college to slut it up have a good time, go to big state schools.  Sure, you can find yourself a nice small-town intellectual girl at the small school, but once you do, you’re finished.  She’s your girlfriend.  Anything that you do, any girl you date, and girl you hook up with, will be known by everyone in that school immediately.  At small schools, people gossip like it’s fucking high school again.  The thought of that makes me cringe.

 

You can’t fuck Sally on Friday night, pull Stacie on Saturday, and have Samantha over for a Netflix & Chill sash on Sunday.  Why?  Because they all know each other.  And even if they somehow don’t, they have mutual friends.  They’re gonna find out, and your reputation will be fucked.

 

See, at my large state school, I can pull a different girl every night of the weekend, simply because I have endless pools of girls to tap into.  There are too many people and too many social circles for word to spread that quickly, as long as you’re smart about it.  I simply cannot imagine, and I’ve never heard of, one being a true player at a school with a student body of four figures.

 

Plus, imagine how boring the bar scene would be if you literally knew every single person in the joint.  I know a hell of a lot of people at my school, but I can still go out and meet new girls every night of the year.  I’d be pretty depressed if every night consisted of seeing the exact same people, without the opportunity to meet anyone new.  More people, more girls, more hot girls, more fun.

 

You hear that?

 

→ MORE HOT GIRLS ←

sorority_girls_3

 

You can stop reading the article here if you wish.  But if you need more convincing, keep reading.

 

And let’s be real, big schools are more fun.  Hands down.  No debate.  It’s funny, because my buddies at small schools are always traveling to other colleges and spending weekends at the large state schools.  Probably because they are missing out on absolutely nothing by leaving their measly university.  Furthermore, the kids at small schools never invite anyone to visit them at their school, because they know it simply can’t compare.  Pretty sure no one has ever said, “let’s go spend a wild weekend at Oberlin College, it’ll be a blast!”.  No.  Instead, people say, “let’s go visit Johnny at Penn State and rip beer bongs at the morning tailgate”.

 

Coming out of high school, I remember my guidance counselor trying to tell me, “but, you don’t want to be in a lecture hall with 300 students! The horror!”  I thought to myself – wow, yeah, maybe she’s right.  But that’s honestly dumb as shit.  First, it is a damn blessing to have a 300 student class.  Personally, I don’t like having the professors eyes on me and I hate having to covertly hide my phone every time I want to scroll through some hottie’s Instagram page.  Plus, that whole trope about “you learn more with individual attention”, yeah… total bullshit.  I’ve learned more in huge lecture classes than I have in every other class.  You are an adult, you don’t need a teacher there to explain every little detail to you and pander to your every whim.  You don’t need individual attention, you don’t need coddled.

 

And sure, some classes, such as, say… Calculus or other math classes, are better suited for a smaller class environment.  But you know what, the universities do a fantastic job of partitioning those courses into smaller class sizes.  So there’s nothing to worry about.

 

If you’re one of those pseudo-intellectuals who believes that your feigned juvenile sophistication requires you to attend a liberal arts school for an enriching education, snap out of it.  Fast.  Plus, unless you’re going to an Ivy or some incredibly elite school, the whole “prestige” draw is an illusion.  State flagship schools are always respected and always have a high employment rate post-graduation.  A liberal arts degree from a prestigious school is worthless.  So get that out of your head.

 

 

Factor in the price, too.  College ain’t cheap and many of you have to take out massive student loans to pay for this shit.  In general, unless you are a scholar, large state schools are cheaper.  And again, I promise that you are not sacrificing much academic quality, if any at all.

 

The only reasons why you should go to a small college are for the following reasons:

  • You are an athlete – you didn’t quite cut it for big D1 schools, but you love playing so much that you opt to keep the dream alive at a smaller school.  If you love the sport, I can respect that.
  • You have a huge scholarship – Sometimes these schools will shell out massive scholarships to worthy students.  If it is immensely cheaper than any other option, I feel it.  The bottom line matters.

 

Am I missing anything? Don’t think so.

 

In conclusion, the extra money required to go to a small liberal arts college does not provide an adequate return on investment.  You are paying more money for less fun, less girls, and a pretentious assumption that your education is superior to one at a big school.

 

Go to your state school, tailgate for football games, go to house parties, get good grades, hit on random girls every weekend, have the time of your life, and escape with minimal debt.

 

Auf wiedersehen.

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