The Social Hierarchy of College Campuses

If you haven’t figured it out yet, college is all about networking and status.  Social life in college can be summed up in a fairly simple mathematical proof – the more people you know, the more parties you get invited to, the more girls you meet, the more girls you hook up with, the more fun you have.

Certain types of guys get “it”.  You see them – they roll into the bar and get immediately dapped up by half the patrons,  they run through chicks like Ezekiel Elliot running through Alabama’s defense, and their phone is constantly blowing up with plans for the weekend and clingy girls asking for a night of their precious time.



College guys can be broken down into three categories – the kings, the boys, and the nobodies.


The Kings 

The first level of kings are the athletes.  Athletes on a big college campus are the coolest guys in town – they can’t go to a bar without kids snapping pictures of them and they have groupies who just want a taste of their quasi-fame filled nuts.  Pulling for them is as simple as showing up and picking a girl out.

Next we have the frat bosses.  These guys are the patriarchs of the top fraternities on campus and ran through half of the Delta Gamma house in a single semester.  They’re possibly the most well-connected guys around with the ability to walk into any party and run the show.

Then there are the bartenders and bouncers.  If you’ve ever been to a college bar, you’ve probably seen a cute girl sitting on the big bouncers lap saying, “ID’s please” between kissing him on the cheek.  You’ve also probably seen a sexy young lady staring at the bartender with doe eyes as he pours her a shot.  Being a bartender gives a level of coolness and notoriety throughout campus.

The one defining factor of being a king is a degree of campus fame.  To get here, you don’t necessarily need to take up a bartending job or run a cycle of testosterone and try out for the football team – all you need to do is network your ass off and know how to show people a good time.  When you do, you’ll reap the spoils of being a top dog on campus (i.e. get bitches).


The Boys

The boys are the boys.  These are the relatively connected, non-dweeby GDI’s and mid-tier frat guys.  They’re your friends, they’re a fun time, and they’re good people.  You shotgun beers together, hit the bars, shoot the shit, and do homework together.

There’s only one catch – they’re complacent and they’re not aggressive.  The boys are a great time to be around, but they’re cool with a scattered handful of sloppy one night stands over the year.  They don’t have any desire or drive to dominate their college campus and become a king.  They’re not the type to plan a party, they won’t go out of their way to talk to new girls, and they don’t like straying from the unfamiliar.

The boys could easily rise to the level of king if they had more social ambition, but for now, they’re content just kickin’ it and having a good time.


The Nobodies

You can see a nobody from a mile away – always rockin’ the classic cargo shorts for all of their supplies with faces buried in their phones playing Clash of Clans to save them from the terror of social confrontation.  They go to class, don’t say a word, then retreat to their dorm rooms to spend their night engulfed in their latest Xbox game.

As far as girls?  The nobodies look forward to daily romantic dates with Porn Hub based around a fixed schedule of when their roommate is in class.

The nobodies look at frat stars as “douche bags” and scoff at the fun moral depravity of the rest of their collegiate peers.  The highlight of their college careers are pizza nights and getting drunk off of three craft beers, because macro brews are just so plebeian.

It’s not that they don’t have potential, because everyone does.  Their problem is they’ve failed so miserably that they don’t even want to have great college experience.


Become a King

At The College Player, we strive to live the life of a king and have the best college experience possible.  Become a king and bask in the glory of more friends, more sex, and more fun.

Getting there takes some work, but it’s achievable for anyone.  Just pick up a copy of The Campus Hustler and the recently released  The Campus Hustler Pt. II  – read them, study them, get to work, and have a kick ass time.

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